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The blame is not on the one who does not accept advice. Rather, it is on the one who presents it inappropriately


Friday, 13 April 2012

The Ideal Islamic Marriage

Forgive me if I come across crudely, you might find my tone to be somehow militant but by Allaah, nothing ulterior is intended other than to remind myself first and you of the marital dangers looming in the horizon as a result of our actions.

It is the unadulterated system of Allaah that, whenever He prohibits a thing, He closes all the avenues that lead to it. The same holds true in all that He has allowed for us. He makes clear all the paths that make it easy.

Undoubtedly, man and woman were created by Allaah to worship Him and in doing so, they need to procreate in order to fulfill His promise of making humans inheritors of the earth, generations after generations.

The process of procreation was legitimized for us by Allaah through the institution of Nikaah (marriage). Allah says: "Marry women of your choice, two or three, or four, but if you fear that you shall not be able to deal justly (with them), then (marry) only one" Surah 4. An-Nisa' verse 3.

I'm particularly concerned with the nature of how wedding ceremonies are being conducted today by the Muslims. I personally see this as the point of departure between those strangers (Ghuraba) that strive to conduct themselves in accordance with the shariah during wedding periods desperate for Allaah's blessings and those that are ignorantly living under the shackles of the destructive 21st century civilization desperate for social recognition at the detriment of Allaah's pleasure.

A people rich in civilization as the Muslims shouldn't be found wanting in ethics and morals. In recent years, Satan has beautified a repugnant act for Muslims who are on the verge of getting married or even the married ones on their wedding anniversaries. An exposure to the new satanic trend in the form of a series of pictures taken by the would-be partners in an unIslamic style will shift any man with a sane and balanced understanding from a comfort zone to that of a constant anticipation of Allaah's wrath.

Innocent people out of 'marital euphoria' would do anything just to please the society even if it means going against Allaah's orders.. A true Muslim goes to any length to protect the honor of his women folk but sadly today, we even derive pleasure in displaying our women for the world to admire. Subhanallah!

An authentic hadith on the strength of Ammar (RA) sends a shiver down my spine. The Prophet (Pbuh) said: "A dayyuth will NEVER enter paradise" (Muslim). This is a person who's not jealous of his women folk. He opposes jealousy and displays his wife for every Tom, Dick and Harry to see and comment as if she's a commodity. How can my wife's picture be traveling round the world admired by the good, the bad and the ugly. Insanity I guess.

The competition of a real believer is in good ways not in disobedience. We are trying to outdo one another in sins.  Wedding dinner, what's supposed to be a decent feast and a get-together is now the backbone of everything opposing Allaah's orders as far as wedding ceremony is concerned. Women in tight outfits, exactly as the Prophet (Pbuh)  painted their image, mixing freely with strange men with an accompanied music playing at the background inviting the wrath of Allaah and we have the guts to expect Allah's blessings in our marriages. What a deliberate contradiction.

Can't we have a decent marriage? Can't we think of Allaah's wrath when planning our wedding events? Are we so blinded and desperate for a 24 hour recognition that we are willing to compromise on our eeman? Who blesses marriages? Is it not Allaah? Or do the people we consider when we disobey Allaah have the key to our marital bliss and righteous offsprings? Think and ponder, wallah! If the foundation of our wedding is built on Allaah's disobedience then don't blame Allaah or the society when our children become delinquents but rather we should blame ourselves for that wedding based on Allaah's disobedience.

Don't we know that for every person that abuses his sight at a dinner function organized by us, is an equal share of sin allotted to us, wise up and use your intellect. Don't ruin the life of your children yet un born.  The people we threw up a lavish immoral dinner to impress will be the first to broadcast our  marital problems when Allaah removes blessings in our marriages. So decide who to please now.

There's nothing wrong in men having their exclusive male event in accordance with the shariah (a wedding banquet known as walimah) nor is there anything wrong for women to have their own separate  wedding banquet. Hence, we should go for that which pleases Allaah and which guarantees eternal bliss and a happy home.

Until and unless we see marriage as an 'Ibadah, we will not get the gist. In a hadith the Prophet (Pbuh) said: "The whole world is a provision, and the best object of benefit of the world is the pious woman." Only a pious woman will discourage you from trying to indulge in a wedding ceremony that will invite Allaah's wrath, so go for her and not the so called 21st century slave who knows nothing beyond the material world, totally oblivious of her Creator.

Sisters, go for men that will honor your modesty and integrity. You talk of women's right, go for men that will never expose you to the wild provocation of the sick world. Our marriages are no novelty, wedding ceremonies come and go but the records of everything that ensued is kept with Allaah either as a plus factor or a minus factor for us on the Day of Retribution.

May our kind Allaah give us partners that will hold us and drag us with utmost care to Jannah not those that know nothing beyond the material world.


  1. True, sooo not our culture but we spend more time planning the wedding ceremony rather than thinking of the marriage itself.

    may Allah guide us all and give us partners that would drag us to jannah.

  2. Marriage is a lifetime journey and your words left nothing but a guiding principles directly from the most acceptable DEEN.... Jazakallahu Khair! M-Salihu

  3. Marriage is a lifetime journey and your words left nothing but a guiding principles directly from the most acceptable DEEN.... Jazakallahu Khair! M-Salihu

    1. Jazakallahu khair..an apt blog!masha Allah.

  4. Ameen to that du'a.
    It's really sad how the husbands lead the wives to the wrong path. But the problem is the lack of knowledge on both sides, in our society now, very few pple know the basics of the simple religion. Whts sad is thatA lot of couples just go into marriage without the basic knowledge of 'haqqin aure' if only we can get the marriage counseling like the Christians do before the wedding. Maybe then the men will know how to protect their wives from haram, that Issue of photos really hurts me, it's sad it has become a trend now.

    1. I quite agree wit u. May Allah guide unto the right part. Amen

  5. Ameen, to the du'a, I believe no one will claim ignorance of the dangers you pointed out here but yet we still do it, most women now marry for just that event, contail, reception, picnic, the ovation that goes out with the weeding.

  6. Salaams, JazakhAllahu khair for a brilliant write-up! These trends like pre-wedding photos in intimate poses, mixed events, dancing inappropriately, etc only function to weaken the foundations of a hopeful successful marriage. Unfortunately for couples trying to keep things 'Halal', all you face is an uphill battle & lots of ridicule! I faced that too, but alhamdulillah we prevailed in some aspects...When will we ever learn that you can't displease Allah in order to please people!

  7. Barakallahu Fih............... i love dis piece. ameen to the prayer.
    Its jst very unfortunate how marriages are conducted dis dayz in Islam. Verily all dis are also signs of endtime.
    I pray Allah(swt) in His infinite mercy guide us arite. ameen

  8. This is the kind of article we need written in Nigeria. This issue of wedding dinner and souvenir that carries the couple's picture has gone out of hand. This practices MUST stop or else as tge writter clearly states wallah we would never see peace in our marriages or good in our children. Jazakallah brother abdul

  9. Very good advice , May Allah bless you for your contibution

  10. Jazakallah khairan."Allahumma Ihidinas sirathal mustaqeem"amin

  11. Jazakallahu Khairan.

  12. Jazakallahu Khairan 4 dis beautiful warning and reminder. May Allah guide us away 4rm d deception and trickery of Shaytan.
    I'm almost tilting towards being a victim of dis...and walahi by dis reminder I'm greatly cautioned. Thank u akhi

  13. Jazalallahu khairan,i am actually moved by this piece of yours may Allah bless us all and guide his ummah aright from the deception of shaytan and his followers(Ameen) and may he bless us with perfect spouses and blessed kids insha Allah...May Al-janna firdaus be our final abode Amin

  14. Thank you and may Allah bless you.

  15. No one man will take another man's burden. If my dad did bad in his past there's no way it will affect my life, I have sole control of the life given to me by my lord, if I do bad I do it by myself and for my own self. If it wasn't so, then prophet ibrahim could never have come from the family he came from and neither would have the son of Noah. I reason with you where u point out the mistakes of women in wearing tight outfits, its a bad thing yea. But there's nothing bad in arranging dinners and playing nice musics for a wedding. And finaly, I don't agree with you in the part where u talked of a non jealous husband as fuel of fire. Its totally a lie and doesn't sound from a mouth of a man full of wisedom like Muhammad.

    1. As-salamu alaykum mr. Nasir,would like to shed more lyt on ur comment...1st of all,pls wen u come across anything regarding islam e.g an advice or smthng lyk do not condem,if u won't take d advice jxt kip quiet...and as for u doing things and not affecting ur kids,well there r some choices we make in life that do definitely affect our children...all in all Allah knows best.may Allah guide us to d ryt path...

  16. SubahanAllah.@ Nasir,I think you should educate yourself bcz obviously u don't know what you're saying.May Allah guide us all.ameen.

  17. Barakallahu feeka ya akhi for speaking the truth. Islam made marriage so simple for us but unfortunately we let culture complicate everything. May Allah guide us all.

  18. Salamu alaikum, Jazakallahu khairan for this article....@ Nasir pls try n learn more abt ur Deen, u see the Prophet, sallallahu alayhi wa sallam said: "Choose for your seeds (a good mother), for indeed breeding is a strategy." --Ibn Maajah.
    This is from the rights that a child has over his father-- that he picks a good mother for him. 
    A man once came to 'Umar bin Al-Khattaab, radiAllahu anhu, complaining about his son being undutiful to him. He had brought his son with him and began blaming him for his disobedience, so the son asked, "Doesn't a son have a right over his father also?" 'Umar said: "Of course." The son said, "Then what is it?" 'Umar replied, "That his father carefully chooses a mother for him, that he gives him a good name and that he teaches him the Qur'an." At this, the son said, "My father has not done any of these things. As for my mother, she was a black slave woman that used to belong to a Zoroastrian (Majoos). He named me Ju'al and did not teach me even one letter from the Qur'an." 'Umar turned to the man and said, "You came to me to complain about your son being undutiful to you, however, it is you who were undutiful to him before that!" 
    Knowledge they say is power, seek it n be patient, it ll be urs in shaa Allah. The Qur'an is a mercy n source of guidance from our Lord, the hadith also. May Allah have mercy on us all n make practising Islam easy for us n make us not a prey to our desires. Ameen

  19. Alhamdulillah,a good reminder,sumtyms wen I thnk bout my own wedding n d dinners we had if it ws now I wldnt hav dne such we wld hav bn mre simple n towards d islamic way may Allah in His mercy frgive n guide ameen and guide our offspring.

  20. Jazakumullahu khairan. Amra beautiful article, i picture my wedding alrdy, isA it'll be done according to islamic rites n injunctions. Allah ya shirye mu duka.mamin.

  21. Jazakumullahu khairan. Amra beautiful article, i picture my wedding alrdy, isA it'll be done according to islamic rites n injunctions. Allah ya shirye mu duka.mamin.

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  33. Jazkallahu Khair, may Allah Bless you...

  34. I fell in love with you from your first tweet. May Allah give me you or a man with your good heart. Ameen.

  35. JazakallAhu khairan,its a very nice piece and I pray we change our ways 2 d islamic ways.it really touched me knowing dat I did all theses things during ma wedding,AstagfirullAh,n 4 u mr nasir u need 2 update urselve with respect 2 islamic knowledge,d points here r clear ones n with proove.is either u take the advice or leave it but u can't condemn it as u may directly b contradicting d verses n hadiths he quoted.so b kiaful wit ur Utterances.

  36. Assalamu'alaikum, am rilly happy seing this peace of advice, nd I pray we should all follow wat we all read in it, may Allah guide us to the straight path nd may Allah bless the. Person that passed on this information for us. Thank you

  37. Ibn Ya'quub An Naijiree14 April 2013 at 21:25

    Maa Shaa Allaah, this is a Master Piece that completely unveils the extremities and madness in the Nikaah of today, and moreso addresses the worries there in. We read and we obey. May it be a witness for you. Baarak Allaahu Fih!

  38. Allahu Akbar,may Aƪƪa̶ђ SWT show us more light,cos we r jst being ignorant,evry1 wants too feel among,dinners,parties,and so on r not marriage blessings rather destructions,I hope mine wil b as simple as possible and I pray 4 those whose. Wish for same.@ Mr nasir pls seek forgiveness and search 4 more knowledge,thank you

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  70. EEMAN ABDULLAH25 May 2014 at 09:15

    Hmmm exactly my stand on the whole indecent events organized to celebrate weddings.may Allah safeguard us.


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