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The blame is not on the one who does not accept advice. Rather, it is on the one who presents it inappropriately

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Friday, 13 April 2012

The Ideal Islamic Marriage

Forgive me if I come across crudely, you might find my tone to be somehow militant but by Allaah, nothing ulterior is intended other than to remind myself first and you of the marital dangers looming in the horizon as a result of our actions.

It is the unadulterated system of Allaah that, whenever He prohibits a thing, He closes all the avenues that lead to it. The same holds true in all that He has allowed for us. He makes clear all the paths that make it easy.

Undoubtedly, man and woman were created by Allaah to worship Him and in doing so, they need to procreate in order to fulfill His promise of making humans inheritors of the earth, generations after generations.

The process of procreation was legitimized for us by Allaah through the institution of Nikaah (marriage). Allah says: "Marry women of your choice, two or three, or four, but if you fear that you shall not be able to deal justly (with them), then (marry) only one" Surah 4. An-Nisa' verse 3.

I'm particularly concerned with the nature of how wedding ceremonies are being conducted today by the Muslims. I personally see this as the point of departure between those strangers (Ghuraba) that strive to conduct themselves in accordance with the shariah during wedding periods desperate for Allaah's blessings and those that are ignorantly living under the shackles of the destructive 21st century civilization desperate for social recognition at the detriment of Allaah's pleasure.

A people rich in civilization as the Muslims shouldn't be found wanting in ethics and morals. In recent years, Satan has beautified a repugnant act for Muslims who are on the verge of getting married or even the married ones on their wedding anniversaries. An exposure to the new satanic trend in the form of a series of pictures taken by the would-be partners in an unIslamic style will shift any man with a sane and balanced understanding from a comfort zone to that of a constant anticipation of Allaah's wrath.

Innocent people out of 'marital euphoria' would do anything just to please the society even if it means going against Allaah's orders.. A true Muslim goes to any length to protect the honor of his women folk but sadly today, we even derive pleasure in displaying our women for the world to admire. Subhanallah!

An authentic hadith on the strength of Ammar (RA) sends a shiver down my spine. The Prophet (Pbuh) said: "A dayyuth will NEVER enter paradise" (Muslim). This is a person who's not jealous of his women folk. He opposes jealousy and displays his wife for every Tom, Dick and Harry to see and comment as if she's a commodity. How can my wife's picture be traveling round the world admired by the good, the bad and the ugly. Insanity I guess.

The competition of a real believer is in good ways not in disobedience. We are trying to outdo one another in sins.  Wedding dinner, what's supposed to be a decent feast and a get-together is now the backbone of everything opposing Allaah's orders as far as wedding ceremony is concerned. Women in tight outfits, exactly as the Prophet (Pbuh)  painted their image, mixing freely with strange men with an accompanied music playing at the background inviting the wrath of Allaah and we have the guts to expect Allah's blessings in our marriages. What a deliberate contradiction.

Can't we have a decent marriage? Can't we think of Allaah's wrath when planning our wedding events? Are we so blinded and desperate for a 24 hour recognition that we are willing to compromise on our eeman? Who blesses marriages? Is it not Allaah? Or do the people we consider when we disobey Allaah have the key to our marital bliss and righteous offsprings? Think and ponder, wallah! If the foundation of our wedding is built on Allaah's disobedience then don't blame Allaah or the society when our children become delinquents but rather we should blame ourselves for that wedding based on Allaah's disobedience.

Don't we know that for every person that abuses his sight at a dinner function organized by us, is an equal share of sin allotted to us, wise up and use your intellect. Don't ruin the life of your children yet un born.  The people we threw up a lavish immoral dinner to impress will be the first to broadcast our  marital problems when Allaah removes blessings in our marriages. So decide who to please now.

There's nothing wrong in men having their exclusive male event in accordance with the shariah (a wedding banquet known as walimah) nor is there anything wrong for women to have their own separate  wedding banquet. Hence, we should go for that which pleases Allaah and which guarantees eternal bliss and a happy home.

Until and unless we see marriage as an 'Ibadah, we will not get the gist. In a hadith the Prophet (Pbuh) said: "The whole world is a provision, and the best object of benefit of the world is the pious woman." Only a pious woman will discourage you from trying to indulge in a wedding ceremony that will invite Allaah's wrath, so go for her and not the so called 21st century slave who knows nothing beyond the material world, totally oblivious of her Creator.

Sisters, go for men that will honor your modesty and integrity. You talk of women's right, go for men that will never expose you to the wild provocation of the sick world. Our marriages are no novelty, wedding ceremonies come and go but the records of everything that ensued is kept with Allaah either as a plus factor or a minus factor for us on the Day of Retribution.

May our kind Allaah give us partners that will hold us and drag us with utmost care to Jannah not those that know nothing beyond the material world.